ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
