Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
