So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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