you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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