I feel like I'm in dance class right now
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
