He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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