I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
