Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
