Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize