The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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