I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
