it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
