I'm eating all of the evidence.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
