How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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