bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
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