Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
