You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
