I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
