I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
