i may or may not be watching the land before time
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
