i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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