put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
So many bounce houses so little time
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
My liver just had a heart attack.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
is that a dick in a sweater?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
