make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize