Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
