You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
