I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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