i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
