dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
