Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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