Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
how drunk are you?
Several
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
