I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
