so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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