I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
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dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?