Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(212): View more from New York

i want you now

(916): View more from California

you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this

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(407): View more from Florida

so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all

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(914): View more from New York

she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.

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(727): View more from Florida

He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide

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25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Read it at the TFLN blog
(631): View more from New York

she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?

(516): View more from New York

nope.

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(404): View more from Georgia

my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.

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(+82): View more from South Korea

You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.

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(760): View more from California

She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude

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