I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
The beer is more important than you right now.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize