I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection