So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
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A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
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Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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