ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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