i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
