my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
