Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
