I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize