i would punch a child for taco bell
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
