if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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