You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
