I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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