So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
