her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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