Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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