I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
