o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
