I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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