Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
i think we sleep fucked last night...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
