that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
She's the barista slut.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
