if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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