I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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