Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I love you.
Bad choice
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
