And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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