Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
