He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
