another moral hangover. fuck.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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