Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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