the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
operation have a gay friend backfired
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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