I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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