What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
She has the best kind of daddy issues
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
