It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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