fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
