haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
