Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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