watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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